The one with all the poop.

Tonight is one of those nights were I simply hate poop. One of my residents decided it would be fun to poop her pants not once, not twice but three times within the space of two hours. And two of those times she took it upon herself to remove her pad and place it on the bathroom bench meaning that when I went in to check on her (she was supposed to be asleep in bed) the whole joint smelt like crap. Fun times. I told her that she needed to leave her pad on and let me know when she felt that she needed to go to the toilet! But suffering from short term memory loss (apparently) she did not keep her pad on and she definitely did not let me know when she needed to go.

Now I know that when I’m a midwife I’ll have to deal with poop. Babies poop all the time and sometimes mum’s in labour do too. But adult poo is a whole lot different to baby poo. And a mum poo-ing once while pushing out a baby is a whole lot different to poo smeared in pants. At least it was only one of my residents that was on the poo wagon. My night would have been even more crazy if they’d all jumped on board.

Dementia patients + poop = the actual worst. Because good old dementia patients sometimes forget important things like ‘you’re not supposed to use your hand to wipe your poop. That’s what toilet paper is for!’. One of my patients has the tendency to reach below while she’s on the toilet and touch that which should never be touched. So when it comes to toileting time I often have to become a strict and bossy - demanding that her hands remain where I can see them at all times. But she sure is quick for an old thing (when it comes to poop anyway) and I have caught her with her hand in the toilet bowl in the time it took me to turn around & grab the bottom wipes. Once. Or maybe twice. And let me tell you.. removing poop from under fingernails is no small task.

Don’t even get me started on poop that ends up on the floor.

I sincerely hope that when I get old, bowel control and the ability to toilet myself will be skills that I retain. But. If I'm not lucky enough to have that.. I at least hope that I won’t develop the urge to want to touch anything that belongs in the toilet bowl!

The time I got a job…

I ran out of money. Literally. I had $35 left in my bank account and two bills due the following week. Nothing else to do but get a job. I decided that working in the nursing industry would be best for a budding nurse like myself so I applied for AIN/PC jobs at all the local nursing homes. Well. One of them just happened to give me an interview and within a few days I started work as a Personal Carer (and paid my bills!).

It’s pretty bizarre working in aged care because it is the complete opposite of what I want to do: deliver babies. It’s tiring, physically demanding and full on sometimes. But it’s still nursing and it’s all experience.

The residents are absolutely the best part of my job. Boy oh boy are some of them hilarious (most without even trying to be!). So get yourselves prepared for stories. Because I’ll most definitely be posting stories. Some will involve the cute things they say. Some will detail all the awkwardness that comes with showering, changing clothes and nudity. And just warning you right now - there will definitely be some poo and wee stories! I hope though that they provide you with laughs and a bit of an insight into what lays ahead for us all… old age.